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Dear B, I was so impressed when you went grocery shopping on Monday and were done and unpacked in less than an hour. And then WB and I returned home from our errands to discover that you basically only got chicken and bananas and avocados. All strong choices, however, it’s going to be hard to make that into a meal.
Dear people who have never returned bottles, I am so jealous. That’s it. That’s all.
Dear L, I have finally realized that you only want me to have another baby because you want to spend three nights in a row at your Nana’s house like you did when I had WB. It took me a while, but I am on to you now. It’d probably be easier for your Daddy and I just to go away for a few nights so you can stay there, don’t you think?
Dear Secret Package, I was so excited for you to arrive. And then you came and I realized you weren’t so secret after all. You were the energy saving kit full of light bulbs and outlet covers and other things that I signed up for from my electric company. Not a bad freebie by any means, but also not the fun prize I was hoping for.
Dear Rain, Go away already. If you were snow I would welcome you with open arms. But rain in January? No thanks. I’m not ready for muddy paw prints on my kitchen floor until at least March.
Dear Pinterest, I don’t know how you do it, but you suck me in every time. Oh, I say, I’ll just search for something really quick. And then there I am, hours later pinning projects I will never ever do because they are light years beyond my skill set.
Dear Jimmy Kimmel, I forgot how much I enjoyed your show and will for sure be tuning in more. Also, do you think it’s possible that you could have Ryan Gosling on every night? Please?
Dear WB, You are the cutest, craziest little thing ever. And you just happen to be one of the best errand buddies around. You never complain or fuss. You just go with the flow and flirt with everyone you see. I love it!