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Dear B, I hope your surgery goes well today. I also hope that you are hysterically funny after they give you valium. I am quite looking forward to that.
Dear L, Happy SNOW DAY (well cold day)! You are totally lucking out this year and I am totally jealous this never went down when I was a kid. Enjoy your day with Nana(*)!!!
Dear Telemarketers, Whatever you are selling, I want none of it. Stop calling me. Stop. It.
Dear Justin Bieber, You are an idiot. Looking forward to finding out what was in your system that made you SO excited to get your mug shot taken. Jail is a good time huh? #sodumb
Dear Mom, I blame you for my Candy Crush relapse. I was avoiding it so nicely until you texted me late one night in urgent need of a ticket to the next level. It’s all your fault.
Dear Michael’s, What on earth are these grab bags people keep talking about? Random bags mixed with a bunch of stuff no one bought at full price? I want in on that action and plan to get my hands on one of these bags ASAP.
Dear WB, Stop taking your shoes and socks off in the car. It’s freezing out and every time we need to get out I have to get you all ready again with the car door open. Don’t your feet get cold? Guess not!
Dear Baxter and Buddy, Thanks for always playing so nicely with WB. I know he’s been wild with you guys this week. You are awesome.
Dear Honest Co., First my cleaning products arrived frozen (they thawed nicely) and then yesterday my wipes arrived frozen solid. I bet you hope this cold weather ends soon because I am sure I am not the first person with this issue.
Dear eBay People, Why do you bid on something, win it and then 5 minutes later think it’s cool to e-mail and be all oops, sorry, I don’t want that. Not cool.
