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Dear Disney, Please stop sending me e-mails about my upcoming trip. You are far too organized and want me to remember too much. It’s making my head hurt. I’ll bring my Magic Bands and we’ll handle the rest when I get there.
Dear B, Thank you for hanging up my pineapples. I didn’t believe you’d actually do it last night, but you did.
Dear Baxter and Buddy, When someone comes to the door and you don’t like it, maybe fighting with each other isn’t the best way to go about letting them know who’s in charge?
Dear Campfires, No matter where I sit, your smoke always blows in my face. How is this? Why? It drives me insane.
Dear Target, What % off are you right now? 70%? I need to pay you a visit. And pick up a few things I don’t need.
Dear WB, Your dogs are not named Buddy and Buddy. I know that Baxter is harder to say, but he doesn’t respond to you when you call him Buddy either.
Dear Person Who Took the Kid’s Old Chair From The Trash, I am so embarrassed. That chair was so gross and I fear once you got it home and in a better light you regretted your decision to take that. Please don’t think we live in filth. It was just that chair. I swear.
Dear Julie Chen, You have a lot on your hands trying to host a live Head of Household competition. I do not envy your job at all. So hard.
Dear L, Your ability to make friends with anyone and everyone is amazing. I hope this is a quality that you always have because it’s awesome!
