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Dear Baxter, Stop messing with the big dogs in the neighborhood. Seriously. You are going to get eaten.
Dear GAP Kids, I am super excited about your 40% off Friends & Family Sale right now. Back to School shopping here I come!
Dear Gold Glitter Nail Polish, I love you. I want you on my nails all the time. Every day is a party with glitter. B called you “crazy”. He’s just jealous he doesn’t have a party on his nails all the time.
Dear WB, What do you say we get rid of your crib totally? 90% of the time you freak out if I put you anywhere near it, but the other 10% of the time it’s a life saver. We’ll work on that.
Dear Leah (as in Leah from Teen Mom), You bought a lot of Mary Kay to sell didn’t you? My goodness, that is a lot of product. And Dear Jenelle, did you really let the dogs out of their crates to run away? Really?
Dear Target, Why do you have to be so fabulous? Why can’t I resist you? And why do you get new stuff so often? That’s what gets me the most!
Dear L, I have to say, I am getting a little excited for you to go back to school. Not because I want you gone all day, but I like all the fun school activities!
Dear Candy Crush, UGH. Now that I have found a Diet Coke with my name all on it, all my attention is focused on beating you again. I’ve been playing on and off for year. Will I ever make it to the end or will you just keep adding levels?
Dear Birchbox, Is it true? Am I going to get my August box before I can spoil myself on the 10th? OMG OMG OMG! Say it’s so!
