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I’m being naughty and doing Friday Letters on Thursday…..
Dear Health Care Provider, chances of me paying that bill you sent me from over a year ago are slim to NONE. Maybe if you billed the correct insurance company in the first place, you’d have your money by now. Dear B, when I asked you the other day to watch L so that I could get a few things done around the house, I didn’t mean for you to go to the neighbors house and get drunk while his wife watched L (*). Dear Facebook, thank you for having the “Hide” button. Without you I’d be so annoyed. Dear Alessandro (from the Bachelorette), you are a complete a-hole. And an idiot. Dear Emily (aka the Bachelorette), I hope you get to keep your wardrobe from the show. I’m pretty sure that your outfits are better than most of the dudes on that show. Dear Casino, oh how I miss you. Let’s get together soon okay? Dear Neighbors, now that you have the slide installed in the pool, I am more serious than ever about coming over. Dear Contests, I promise to enter you more if you promise to let me win something amazing. Dear Pretzel M&M’s, as sad as it is, it is time for us to say good-bye. For now. I will miss you. Dear Mr. Plumber Man (who I have never met) thank you for allowing me to mail a check to you instead of making me drive out to my rental property. You are a nice man. And finally, Dear Fro-Yo Place (by my house), I am so glad you are finally open. I have been waiting for this for years.
(*) In all fairness, L was playing with her son and they probably really didn’t need to be watched.