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Dear Plum District, I’ve never ordered anything from you before and you better not disappoint me with these Twistabands. Dear Credit Card, I never did find you and ended up ordering a new one. I want to find you just to see where you have been hiding. Dear Birchbox, Thanks for taking your sweet a** time in getting my August box to me. I LOVE waiting. Dear Health Insurance Company, Those forms you sent me to try and get W’s formula covered might as well have been in a different language. I suspect that is a trick to make me give up on getting this formula covered. Ha. I am on to you. Dear Presidential Election, I am already super annoyed by you and things are just not really getting under way. Dear L, I am going to be kinda sad the day you start calling me “Mom” instead of “Mama”. Your Daddy, however, wishes you called him “Dad” instead of “Daddy”. Luckily you refuse ;). Dear W, I think it’s cute that you suck your thumb. However, I feel like the dentist won’t think it’s so cute if this continues for years and years. Dear Games, I miss you already. I can’t believe we won’t see each other again for 4 years ;(. Dear Cashier, No, all seven of these children that just happen to be milling around me are NOT mine. In fact, I don’t even know them. I would shoot myself. Dear People Who Know How to Sew, I hate you. Actually, it’s more jealously than hate. Do I buy the sewing machine first or learn how to sew first? Dear B, You were right. Participating in the water balloon fight is WAY more fun than just filling the balloons up. I just wish my aim was as good as yours.
