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Dear Groupon, Thank you SO much for the tracking number of the item I purchased. I wondered why it was taking the long way to Michigan (from Maryland to Arizona to California), but whatever. Umm, turns out you sent me the wrong tracking information and its final destination was in CA. And when I e-mailed you, you were all sorry, we sent you the wrong tracking number and don’t have the correct one for you, but we THINK your package will arrive without issue. Umm, what? What? Way to have a clue.

Dear KERF, I almost spit out my breakfast last weekend when you said that the Happiest Baby on the Block techniques were working on your baby. Hello, your baby was one day old. One day. But I thank you for the laughs.

Dear Election Season, You go on WAY too long. Just stop now.  I find every Facebook post about the election to be overly annoying.  What is it about Facebook (or social media in general), that makes people think they are SO well educated on all things political?  Pretty sure you’re not.

Dear Chevron Shelf Paper, Why don’t you exist? All I can find is this stuff and I totally don’t want gold. And I don’t want to make it myself either.

Dear All You Pregnant People, I don’t know why, but I am jealous.  Although WB isn’t even 5 months yet, I still think he’s getting too old, too fast!   Slow it down WB!

Dear L,  I am so proud of you for doing so awesome at preschool.  It’s super fun hearing about your day and about all the friends you are making.

Dear Michigan State Football, So far, so good.  Please keep up the good work and try not to get embarrassed on national tv tomorrow night.  On a side note, I love when MSU has night games because the kids are in bed and I can totally focus all my attention on the game (which is good and bad).

Dear WB, I fully expect you to crawl before you can sit up.  Is that even physically possible?  I am guessing it is.  You aren’t interested in sitting up.  You want to move.  Also, you may be the loudest baby ever.  You talk loud, cry loud, laugh loud, everything is extra loud.  Sometimes it’s okay to be quiet!

Dear Cooler Weather, I love you.  It’s so nice not to get all sweaty when playing outside or going for a walk.  Stick around for a while because I really don’t want it to be winter just yet.

Dear People Who Selected “Something Else” on my Poll, Hello, didn’t you read the directions? You were suppose to leave a suggestion! Come on people.

Dear Apple, I like new technology just as much (if not more) than the next guy, but is it really necessary to change the dock size on the iPhone 5.  Flippin really?  I have no less than 9,000 cords and need them all.  I am super excited about buying all new ones.  A**holes.

Dear L, Stop standing next to my bed and staring at me until I wake up.  It’s super creepy!  Super creepy.

Dear Me, Clearly you spend too much time around boys who like gross things.  Not everyone spent their day talking about dead animals.  Clearly you had to be there! Sorry IG followers! ;(.