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Sarah Jessica Parker: On why her marriage works. Or something like that. “Matthew and I have never spent more than two weeks apart from each other. It’s as simple as that.” What a great rule for someone with lots of money and a flexible schedule. Some of us have no choice but to spend more than two weeks apart from our spouse and guess what? We are still married too! You want to really talk to someone who knows what it takes to make a marriage work, find a military wife whose husband is on first 4th overseas tour!
Beyonce: On motherhood. “I love changing diapers, I love it. I love every moment of it, it’s so beautiful. I love it all.” I’m sorry, but I am calling BS on this one. She loves changing diapers? Really? Who loves changing sh*tty butts? I have to wonder how many diapers she actually changes in a week. I don’t mind changing diapers, but I would never call it beautiful.
Oprah: On cell phones. “…..and by making our cars a ‘No Phone Zone.” Umm, okay Oprah, you haven’t driven yourself around in how long? I’m certain you’ve never been in traffic and had to call your daycare to say you’d be late picking the kids up. Or called your husband while he was on his way home to remind him to pick up some milk. In fact, I believe you said on your road trip with Gale years ago that you hadn’t pumped your own gas since 1983? 1983. Clearly you are out of touch with the real world. I’m sure it’s seems horrible for other people to actually need to communicate with other while they are in the car because I bet you NEVER talk on the phone from the backseat while you are being driven around huh? Never.
Gisele Bundchen: “I think there should be a worldwide law, in my opinion, that mothers should breastfeed their babies for six months.” A worldwide law huh? Never heard of such a thing, but if you say it should exist, let’s do it. And why would we want to give moms the right to choose how to feed their babies? Your way is obviously much better. For everyone. In the entire world.
George Bush: “Too many OB/GYN’s aren’t able to practice their love with women all across the country.” I’m sorry, but I crack up every time I see this. Clearly this came out wrong. This isn’t the kind of quote I was talking about in this post, but it’s too enjoyable not to post. I miss him.
Now that I am totally cracking up, it’s your turn, what is the “best” advice you have heard from a celebrity. Or the funniest quote you have read?