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Dear Spam Comments, I really do not understand where you are coming from or who / what actually creates you, but I find you very annoying. Plus, you are making me miss / delete real comments because they are stuck in between your stupid vi*ara ads.
Dear Real Comments, Don’t be offended if you don’t get posted right away seeing how sometimes I don’t find you for days. I’ll publish all comments unless they are spam or flat out nasty.
Dear FB Page, I enjoy visiting you the day after I have a giveaway to see how many people have “unliked” my page. The number was at 444 last night, so let’s see how many “fans” I lose.
Dear Starbucks, I don’t even know why you advertise because I heard no less than 10 people talking about / posting about the return of the red cups. That’s the best advertising you could ever ask for. And yes, I will be getting some Starbucks today.
Dear Target, Okay, fine, you win. I visited you yesterday and bought some 50% off Halloween clearance items. I am ashamed of myself.
Dear People, Please stop posting pictures of your child sitting on the p*tty or in the bathtub or whatever. It seriously scares me to think who is seeing those. Do what parents did before the internet. Save them and show them to high school boyfriends / girlfriends.
Dear High School Girl I Saw Trick-Or-Treating, Your PLAYBOY BUNNY costume was just slightly inappropriate for 1) your age (which I am guessing was around 15) and 2) trick-or-treating in a 40 degree weather. I am certain that your parents are super proud of you.
Dear Chris Brown, Just when I thought my hatred for you couldn’t get any worse, you go and dress like a member of the Talib*n for Halloween. I am just curious, do you have PR people? Do they hate your guts? Because you, my friend, are a PR nightmare.
Dear Weekend, You are the first one in ages that we have no plans. None. Nothing. I think I’m in love with you.
Dear L, I couldn’t have been more proud when your teacher told us what a great kid you are in class and how you are so nice to your friends. I’m pretty sure we know who you take after on that one. And it’s not your Dad.
Dear WB, If your eyes are still blue at six months, does that mean they will stay blue? Fingers crossed ;).