Disclosure: If you make a purchase through the links posted below, I may receive a small compensation. Read the full disclosure.
Sorry, there are no polls available at the moment.
Ahhh, the great debate. Working moms vs. stay at home moms. I’ve been on both sides and both certainly do have their pros and cons. When I worked, I knew L was in amazing hands and I didn’t feel at all like I was doing some horrible disservice to him by sending him to daycare. Quite the opposite actually. He loved it and learned so so so much. And I gotta tell you, his social skills are second to none.
But it was stressful for sure. For me. Lots of running around, no time, trying to maintain that work-life balance, that nasty commute (man that was nasty some days), etc. And while I am still busy, it’s a different kind of busy. It’s enjoyable. Plus, if my kid keeps me up all night, it’s much easier not to have to go to an office the next day on an hours worth of sleep. Because that my friends, it NOT fun.
While I don’t want this to turn into some crazy debate, I am super curious to know if you work outside the home or not? Do tell! And do you enjoy it? If you work, do you wish you stayed home? If you stay home do you wish you worked?
I have been a stay at home mom for 12 years. I have a 12 year old, 10 year old and 5 year old. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. But, we have 2 kids in private school now and in the fall, the youngest starts school, so there will be 3 in private school!! I do watch my cousin’s baby a few days a week and do our church’s accounting work at home and that does add some extra income. I have given some serious thought to returning to work when my youngest goes to school in the fall. I have the chance to work for my uncle’s company and have the schedule I want given the fact that I have to take my kids to school and pick them up.
I am a nurse so my hours can be bad or really flexible, since we use my husbands health insurance I never had to commit to crazy full time schedule. I worked nights when they were small and they didn’t even know I worked.
I retired during middle school because there is too much trouble for them to get into. I had a constant stream of teens and teens here until last year
I work outside the home and put “no kids”, but my little one will be here in August and after some time off work, I will be heading back to the office. I would prefer to stay home with him, but that just isn’t an option for me right now.
We don’t have any kids yet but I stay home. I worked for 8 years straight and when we got married I decided to stay home. So much easier when the military is factored in.
I used to work at a law firm and leave my son (6 mo at the time) with my mother-in-law so that saved me the terror of leaving him with someone I didn’t know. After 2 years, I started working from home. I love the fact that now I have both kids with my and I get to enjoy them much more than ever but sometimes I miss that alone time I used to get commuting from/to work. It’s got its perks but there definitely some downs tbh. I feel blessed anyway to be able to have this time to be with my kids 🙂
I work FT and have two school aged kids. I wish I could work part time or with a schedule that gave me more time with my kids or something. I feel like we do a lot of rushing around during the school year, and not nearly enough fun stuff.
I’m transitioning, at least for now. It’s summer and my husband is still working out of state. Our babysitter got a new (office) job and it’s perfect timing. She’s leaving at the end of the week, we’re going to Florida, and then fun for the summer. I’ll re-evaluate in a couple months.
@brandy:
Oh, and do I enjoy it? I don’t know yet. I know my daughter is looking forward to spending more time with me. I’ve been out of the house a lot.
I work full time outside the home, unfortantly we just need 2 incomes to stay above water.. While I love my job and have a nice 8-4:30 schedule and plenty of paid time off, I do sometimes wish I could stay home with my little girl. I sometimes feel I am missing out on her best times, At 16 months old she learns so much and does something new everyday..
I was able to stay home with her until she was 4 months old, so I am grateful I was able to do at least that and she stays with grandparents during the day who can send me pictures and videos to my phone through out the day which is also nice!
I stay home, but for 3 months I worked after Mackenzie was born. I also did it for a month while Erin was in another state. I thought I’d like working more…..I never thought I’d be or enjoy staying home. But in the beginning it was hard sending her to day care especially when she kept getting colds.
While I enjoy staying home, I miss that she was around other kids a few days a week. I also feel more stress to keep things clean and running smoothly around the house since I am home and it’s my job.
I work outside the home. I have a 4 1/2 year old and a 3 year old. The thought of staying home has never crossed my mind. It just isn’t for me. Most days I enjoy my job, but there are other days when I wish I was at home.
I too have been on both sides. I really enjoy being at home and being able to participate in all the school activities and be super active with him but when I’m working it is stressful with the drop-offs and pick-ups, homework, sports, etc. Plus being a nurse and working 12 hour shifts there is always more than one location he needs to be during the day. I mean, I wish I could find a place that opened at 5am and closed at 8pm. But NOPE! I definitely wouldn’t change it though, even now that I’m at home I make sure he’s enrolled somewhere. He just finished a preschool program and is in the summer school at the elementary now! It’s important to me that he has a schedule of his own and nothing is better than his own experience in the “real world” like you mentioned, social skills! You can see the difference in kids who have been in social environments versus those who have stayed at home until Kindergarten.
It is so funny you posted this today, as I am having a hard time with this this week. I always thought I would WOH as I love working, and we live in a city that needs a two family income. However now that my DD is here ( 5 months old) , while we are currently not sleeping, and about to start sleep training we realize we need to start putting her down earlier. So now we will start trying to put her down between 6-630 which means I will only get about two hours with her a day…when I realized this I had to close the door to my office and cry ( the not sleeping could be adding to this). I do miss her so much. I know I am blessed that my mom watches her and I love that, but I definitely think we are going to be reevaluating the city we live in and moving somewhere not as expensive where I could take off work for a few years and then work part time..that would be my goal. It is tough though and I don’t think their is a right answer, I just wish the “mommy wars’ would stop–no mother does it better, I wish we could all support each other more instead of trying to make the other feel worse for their decision. NOT you doing this, just in general it is a common theme where I live (my one friend compared my other friend sending her child to daycare as “giving a bum her diamond ring”) and I find it so frustrating. We are all moms doing the best we can and we love our children, can’t we all just agree that none of us know what we are doing and help each other!
I’ve done both but currently I stay home with my two mini-monsters. 😉 I do have a couple from home jobs as a stampin’ up demo and travel agent but those can be done on my schedule for the most part and I work around what my boys need. I honestly never thought I could be a stay at home mom but when I was furloughed when N was 15months old and I was forced to try it I’m not sure what I was so scared about. Are there days I wish I was at work yes they do at times drive me crazy and I worked very hard to get where I was professionally but I love being able to see them develop and grow.
I have three young kids 5,2 and 6 week . I am finishing school to be a nurse practitioner. I worked when i only had one child. My husband is a plumber and works a ton.
I am now 45 years old with my last child going to college in the fall. I have always worked outside the home. When my kids were younger I would have loved to stay home, but financially wasn’t able to. So I decided to do the next best thing, I began working at my sister-in-laws daycare. I had the best of both worlds, I could see my kids and work. It was a great decision for me, I went back to school and received my degree in early childhood education and teach. I love it. Although, there were days that were very hectic, I still had a great schedule and off during the summer. Without working I would not have been able to put my kids in a private school or afford my subscription addiction (lol!). As I look back, it was the best decision for my family. I say whatever you choose, make it work for your family.
I work, I work because I have to and because I want to. I wish I could have a 3 or 4 day a week schedule instead of 5. I work in advertising so the hours are sometimes really long but my company is good about trying to balance family time and work time. I really enjoy working and give mom’s that stay home with their children a lot of credit because I’m not sure I could do it, I think I might go nuts! I also like that my son Eden gets to play with other kids all day so there are definitely pros and cons.
I work outside of the home and have 3 children ages 15,12,9. When they were younger it was easier because i could work nights which meant i had a lack of sleep but could be there as much as possible in the day. I am a nurse. But, as they grow older it is so much harder to work because they are in various activities and it seems I get no rest. I am currently looking for a way to work at home or command my own schedule just to accomodate them. I am a divorced mom, so I have to work but, I wish there was a better way to do both.
I work full-time outside of the home and I hate it. My 18 month old is in daycare and while she has lots of little friends and learns a lot, I can’t help feeling guilty and sad everyday that she is there. Unfortunately, my husband works at a small firm that does not have healthcare benefits so I need to work to carry the health insurance for the family. I would like nothing more than to stay home with her.
I was a SAHM mom for about 18 months. I would have had to go back to work sooner (much much much sooner), but I was able to get some worker retraining through Unemployment and went to school full time. I didn’t really consider going to school full time as working because I was home way more with Kaylee than I would have been if she was in daycare. Most of my classes were online and my mom watched her a couple days a week so I could work on homework. But then I got a job and we put her in daycare. I don’t mind the daycare aspect because she really enjoys it and it is really good for her. She is a kid that needs to NOT be the center of attention all the time. She is a VERY energetic, never stop, always needing to be entertained kid and daycare has helped her learn to play by herself. Now…would I say I enjoy working…hmmm…still on the fence about that.
I am a working stay at home mom. I stopped working full time and was strictly home after my son was born. 1 1/2 later I had my daughter and missed the adult interaction even though I loved being home. I decided I was going to find something part time but with much flexibility. I was so blessed to find a fun job that I work from home and go in 2-3 days a week, which during those days my mom and mother in law watch my kiddos which we both love.
Ok, so I realize that I don’t have a child yet, I will in a few short months, I will be returning back to work after 8 blissful weeks with the baby! As much as I want to be SAHM, its just not in the cards for Tim and I right now… Somedays I love working and others I wish I had a break, but as long as I get some help at night and all the responsibility doesn’t fall on me, I don’t see working full-time as a bad thing!
No kids yet so I don’t know how things will pan out when that happens. I hadn’t really considered staying at home until I started working from home and enjoying that. My future hubby is far better with kids though so maybe he’ll step back from his job a bit to raise them. I’ll also have a mother and mother-in-law who I’m sure will be happy to help if needed. Both of them were stay-at-home moms (aka pros!).
I work full-time and have 2 kids. Andrew is 4 and is in preschool 3 1/2 days per week and Audrey is 11 months. Thankfully my parents watch the kids while I’m at work so I don’t have to worry about daycare for now. I like my job and enjoy working and I enjoyed my time on leave but for my sanity I don’t think I could be a SAHM.
Oops! I meant to put I DON’T work outside the home and I have kids. Clicked the wrong one. I had a very stressful job, there was no way I could have kept it when my daughter was born.
I’m also interested in knowing, of those who work, how many would prefer to be at home?
I work FT and so does my husband. I’m the breadwinner in the family so have to work. When I had my 1st kiddo, my husband actually got laid off right before, so he ended up staying home with her until she was 18 months (peak of the recession and he was in construction, so to get a minimum wage job was not worth the cost). Now we have our new little guy, and I was able to stay home with him for 3 months but he went off to daycare. I feel mommy guilt about it a lot, but we need both incomes. I also love the work I do and ideally I would work part-time, but can’t make that happen right now. I do hate the rushing, especially after work. It seems like I get no time with them and I also feel bad because I am so relieved when everyone’s in bed because that’s my first opportunity to sit down and not think or do anything.
I have the unique privilege of taking my daughter (20 mo) to work with me. I work for a family business and she comes to work with me where she has a little play area set up for her. I’m grateful for the opportunity, but sometimes it is tough and I feel like I am doing 2 jobs, the stay at home mom job and the full time job I actually do. Sometimes I consider daycare, but I really can’t afford it, and I can’t afford to stay home, so as stressful as it can be sometimes it is what I have to do. Plus at this time, I can’t imagine not spending the whole day with her (the good and the bad).
I have two school-aged children and work outside the home, about 30 hours a week. There are days when I would love to stay at home full time in order to make our schedules less hectic. But I love doing what I do so it makes it worth it, in a sense.
I feel like part-time working moms tend to have it hardest, we don’t stay home and we don’t work full time, so I usually end up feeling pulled in both directions.
All parents work hard, though, no matter how many hours are spent in or out of the home.
I have my degree in Journalism, but I have been home since I was pregnant with our first. We have 3 close in age….4, almost 3 and 13.5 months so right now if I worked outside the home my salary would pretty much be paying for daycare. Our parents are out of state and do visit often, but we don’t have family that would be able to help with child care.
Some days are a lot harder than others but overall I do enjoy it and feel lucky to be able to be home at this point.
I always worked full time but I’ve never had to factor in kids. I love my job, even though it pays diddly squat. I would LOVE to be able to stay home though. I’d spend my days cooking (and exercising cuz of all that cooking!).
I am a full time acupuncturist so I can set my own hours. We don’t have kids yet (4 years trying) but when it finally happens for us I will adjust my schedule to be home more often. I am watching my sister in law make this decision right now. My nephew is 2 and she just had her 2nd little boy a month ago. The cost to put 2 in daycare with one an infant is not what they anticipated so they’re deciding whether to just have her quit her job and stay home full time.
I work full time Monday-Friday 730-430, but I live across the street from my clinic. So I walk to and from work, and go home for lunch almost everyday. Still get to see the baby that way 🙂
I also work at the hospital one 12 hour shift a month (or every 6 weeks..) which is nice for the extra money, but totally ruins that weekend.
In a perfect world I’d work 2-3 days a week. I love my job, but I love being with my little one too. The big kids are finishing up 4th and 6th grades.
Part time Hospice Social Worker, likely soon to be full time Advocare distirbutor (obvi currently part time), oh and part time instructor at Title Boxing Club. It’s all part time and I love every single thing for various reasons.
I have one 6 year old son, just finished kindergarten and is moving up to 1st grade next year! I work outside the home, I am a nurse. I work at an Alzheimer’s assisted living. It is is super low key, I don’t have a management position (this is actually the first job where I’m not in management and it’s nice!) so I show up, pass some pills, hang out with the residents and go home. I’m at work the same hours my son is in school so it works out great. And I work part time so I have a lot of days off during the week which means I am home ALONE for 7 hours a day sometimes cause my husband works Monday thru Friday (super nice, lol). I know those that are stay at home moms love it, but it is NOT for me. Not even close. I love the comradery that comes with going to work everyday and would never change it! Plus I love what I do and the people I take care of each day! <3
@Lauren: And I am able to take my son (and dog) to work with me everyday. So times he is not in school and me and husband are both at work, he comes with me. So he will be hanging out at work with me a lot this summer. There are always lots of other kids there in the summer for him to play with and he usually doesn’t want to leave at the end of the work day!
I’m a stay at home mom and I can honestly say I think it’s the toughest job there is. I was an animal nurse and had to deal with pet’s and their owner’s(not all are easygoing) but what I thought was busy and tough then is a walk in the park now. Some days I wish I had a Job to go too.lol I love what I do on a daily basis.(caring for my lil one’s) So, I guess I miss work sometimes(I think I mostly miss the interaction with others and the animal’s) but mostly don’t cause then I wouldn’t be there for all those awesome little moment’s.
I work part-time. about 35 hourse a week. It’s our best option for now. Even working part time I’m still the family bread winner, so staying at home wouldn’t be the best situation. It’s way better than working full time (for me, my job, commute, etc, was BRUTUAL full time +). I agree, some days I’m more tired and frazzled from staying home, but in a good way, if that makes sense. I”d rather be insane from spending all day with my kids, actually getting to cook, get errands and other random things done that are SO hard when we are out of the home from 7 am-6+pm. That being said, part time is definitely it’s own breed. I don’t really fit in the SAHM clique around here, because on my extra days off, I’m so selfish with our time, LOL, meaning we don’t do classes or play dates, etc. I don’t go to the gym or have them in any child care on those days. John starts kindergarten in the fall so I’m soaking up every last minute I have with him.
I work full time, have twin girls age 2 (will be 3 in August!). At first I really wanted to stay at home, but now I’m not so sure. I think if I found something to do that made me happy and I really enjoyed, I would be happy to work. But I struggle with really enjoying the 8-5 M-F schedule, and wish I could work less. We just are used to two incomes, and it would be a big adjustment not to have that.
I have 3 kids now and I’ve been at home with them since I had my 2nd. I couldn’t imagine working a full time job now. I’m able to be super involved at their schools and cart them to and from their activities. It is a very busy job to manage all of these lives!