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Dear Deli Counter Lady / Meat Slicer, Thank you for slicing 3 pounds of the worst cut turkey I have ever seen in my entire life. It made for an entertaining time rolling it all up and a hot mess of a deli tray. On the bright side, it’s possible I will never be asked to bring something in like this again.
Dear Weekend, You are going to be a busy one! I can only hope you are half as productive as the last one.
Dear Justin Bieber, Stop it. Just stop it. And pull your pants up while you are at it.
Dear L, I swear you grew like 5 inches overnight. I’m not even sure how it’s possible, but it happened. And you now own all new pants since the ones I bought at the beginning of school year no long fit.
Dear Auto Correct Fails, I love you. Seriously. I could be in the crappiest mood ever, but you can always make me laugh until I am crying. B even thinks you are hysterical. #autocorrectrules
Dear Bath & Body Works, How about you put those big three-wick candles back on sale? I have located my coupons and am ready, but of course you haven’t had them on sale since. And if you put them on sale on Black Friday, please do it online as well. I cannot even entertain the idea of going on your store next week. I cannot.
Dear WB, I don’t know why you insist on taking trains to bed with you every night, but unless they are in your crib with you, you FREAK OUT. I personally don’t think snuggling a train his fun, but what do I know?
Dear My Car, You are a complete disaster zone. The outside is filthy (thanks to driving through a bunch of mud puddles after school one day – for fun) and the inside has more toys on the floor than a toybox could ever hold. If you haven’t cleaned yourself when I take L to school today, I suppose I will have to do it myself.
