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Oh why oh why do you have to ask me all these dumb questions? Didn’t your mom ever tell you not to talk to strangers??

1. What’s is its name?  W.
2. Is it a boy or a girl?  Umm, see above.
3. How old is he? 9 weeks.
4. Ohh, he looks so big for his age.  Umm, okay. (or)
5. He’ so little, he needs to eat more!  If you say so.
6. My aunts sister’s kid’s brother’s nephew has a baby that age and he’s so much bigger / smaller.  That’s nice.  I have a dog.
7. Do you breastfeed?  No.
8. Ohh, so that’s why he’s so much bigger / smaller than my cousin’s step-sisters uncle’s wife’s kid?  Yep, that’s probably it.
9. He’s so alert.  Yeah, usually when he’s not sleeping he has his eyes open.
10. My aunt’s sister’s in-law’s step-daughter’s baby could (insert thing no 9 week old can do) by now.  Oh, that’s nice. I actually have two dogs.

I’m pretty sure you get the idea where I am going with this.  I’m not sure why strangers find people with newborns exciting to talk to, but I can assure you I am neither exciting nor friendly when I am trying to run errands.  And really, do you think my 4 year old likes to stand there nicely as you pepper me with questions that are none of your business anyways??  I think not. So stop. And if my kids both just happen to be quiet at the same time, I for sure do NOT want to talk. I just want to grocery shop and enjoy the quiet.