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Dear System Scammers, I detest you. Making the system work in your favor is one thing. Totally scamming it is another. You should be ashamed of yourselves. Except you’re not because you think you did nothing wrong.

Dear Amanda, So sorry you didn’t like the format of my Friday’s Letters. I have changed it for you. But there is no chance you will be winning my giveaway now. (Just kidding).

Dear Collection Company, I do not know who Jose Garcia is and I wish you would stop calling my CELL PHONE looking for him. I understand people like to hide from you types of people, but I really don’t know him and I am annoyed with you.

Dear PopSugar, I am growing tired of your antics. First you say the value of the bag is going to be $150. Then you change it to $100. You say it’s going to be a “bag”. Now it’s a box. Then you post a spoiler picture of some cheap ass looking coasters? And now I look and see other people have received their bags and contain the most random assortment of crap stuff ever?  I do like this selection better than the first bag, but still.  I am waiting for you to wow me.  Review coming soon.

Dear Tardy and Mardy (aka the fair fish), I cannot believe you are still alive. This is nothing short of a miracle.

Dear Macy’s, Making me order patio furniture over the phone was a huge pain in the butt. Had I been able to find something I liked anywhere else, I never would have bothered with this. I felt like spending 30 minutes on the phone ordering something which would have taken 5 minutes on-line was a waste. Also, it was like stepping back in time. But come NOVEMBER, when the furniture finally ships, I am sure I will be thankful.

Dear My Bank, Umm, I am super sorry I entered the wrong debit card pin nine times in a row the other day.  Thank you so much for banning me from making any debit card purchases or using the ATM machine without notifying me.  I love feeling like a criminal every time I go to use it.

Dear Me, Buying a black frame and spray painting it white was NOT easier or cheaper than buying a white frame to start with.  When will you learn.

Dear L, Cutting Baxter’s hair is NOT allowed, so I hope you didn’t get the wrong idea when I couldn’t stop laughing after you told me what you did.  Really kid?  Really?

Dear Baxter, Why in the world did you stand still long enough to allow this?  I am pretty sure if I saw a 4-year old coming at me with scissors, I would run the other direction.