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First of all, can I just tell you how much I loved last week’s poll? I loved hearing about how you met your significant others so much! Some of the stories were romantic. And some were just flat out funny. I loved them all!
This week I want to know if you lived with your significant other (past or present) before you got married? Did it work out? Would you do it again? And if you didn’t live together, would you do it the same way next time?
B and I did, sort of. When we met he was in the Army and was stationed maybe 20 minutes from my house. He lived in the barracks. So it wasn’t like I could just go to his house and hang out. He had to come to mine. I mean, I could go to his “room” (he didn’t have a roommate), but he would have to like come pick me up and take me to base because I couldn’t just go there alone you know? So he’d come over. And eventually all of his stuff came with him. But he always had the barracks to “fall back on” in case things didn’t work out. So in that way, we didn’t have the normal living together commitment.
What about you? Did you live together before you got married? Do tell!
ETA: Kelsey (my SIL) is right, we totally did this poll before. No wonder I thought it sounded like such a good idea. LOL. Feel free to read the results of that poll here.
I don’t know how to answer this poll because… We dated 8 months, I became pregnant, we moved in together when I was 8ish months pregnant. Now We’ve been together 33 months, lived together 19 months, and we have a 17 month old baby. (I just did all that math). BUT I’m not married. Did we live together before having children? JUST barley.
@Alison: ohhh then yes yes I would
My husband and I moved in together after about 6 months of dating. He lived with my best friend at the time and I had a dud of a roommate AND we lived in the same condo complex so it seemed natural for me to kick my roommate out after she royally screwed something up (i.e. tried heating the house up with the oven door open while walking away and letting my puppy roam around).
We’ve now been married almost a year and are living apart for the next few months, go figure. I do think living together before marriage was important for us but I definitely support/don’t judge couples that decide to wait.
My fiance and I didn’t live together at first… in fact, I flat out told him that I wouldn’t move in with him unless we were destined to get married. I’ve moved in with 4 previous significant others and they all blew up in my face and bad and I promised myself that the next guy I moved in with let alone said “I Love you” to, would be my husband!!!
It all ended up working out… now we have a house, a wedding in less than a month and a half and a baby on the way… funny how everything works out!!!
Did you do a poll like this before? We didn’t live together before we got married because right after high school Dustin joined the navy and I was still in school. Then lots of stuff happened in between, but eventually we got married and then moved in together.
I didn’t live with my first husband until after we got married. But I lived with and bought a house with my second husband before we got married. Although we were engaged and planning our wedding when we bought the house. 🙂
Not married yet, but we own a house together. Lived together six years now and wouldn’t have it any other way. Now when we get married… no suprises!
Nope, we didn’t live together. If we had, I would be a spinster stalking gullible young men on the internets right now. My husband is so sloppy (wet towel on bed, clothes on floor, folded and laundered clothes on every chair, facial hair remains on sink, 10 shirts hung on one peg, shoes all over the places and he has more shoes than I do)… I would have thrown him out and called it all off in a week’s time.
*wide eyed* Now I feel conned.
Thank God he cooks.
My husband and I lived together before getting married. We moved to Utah for a bit, moved back to Missouri and were actually together for FIVE years (and a baby) before officially tying the knot. It worked well for us 🙂
Well, since you now know that we only knew each other a few days before getting married, its safe to say, we didn’t live together. In fact, husband did a geo. bach tour in the barracks because he hated Jacksonville so much, and blamed it for all of his friends’ failed marriages. So he had me live 2 hours away in his hometown, and only came home “to visit”, really, on the weekends. For two years. If I could do it all again, the fast wedding was fine … but you can bet your butt we’d be living together afterwards, at least!!
We were engaged when we moved in together. I almost wrote we were engaged before we got married…yep I think that’s how it works. 🙂
We lived together for several months before getting married… I had a daughter from a previous relationship & he had a son from a previous relationship. After several months of dating his roommates were moving so we found an apartment that worked for us.
Absolutely! I’m a HUGE advocate for living together prior to marriage. Two people can have the BEST relationship in the world and be completely in love – but then you put them in the same house together and it spells out DISASTER.
I, for one, want to know EXACTLY what I’m getting into!
I lived with my first husband before we got married but I did not live with Kyle before we got married and I think that was better.
I’ve had a similar experience, where we lived together, but there was always a “fallback” location – either my apartment or my parents’ house when I moved out of the apartment. At first I’d spend the week with him and the weekend at home in my own apt or the parents’ place, when we were in the same city. Now he’s moved across the country and I spend about 4-5 months a year with him at his apartment in VA and the rest of the year at my parents’ house in CA. He travels pretty frequently, so we also have tons of fun enjoying hotels around the country too!
And even when we do get married I’m not sure I’ll live with him full-time right away. I wonder if most couples move in right away or continue living some semblance of their “pre-married” life for awhile? Or even if they keep an ongoing separation of living spaces, maybe for work or other personal reasons.
Yep. For YEARS. When we moved cross country (3? 4? years after moving in together) we stopped at my grandparent’s house for a few months, where we were forced to sleep in separate rooms. I made him sleep with the baby 🙂 Our daughter was over a year old when we got married, which I only bothered to do because we thought we were moving to Singapore for 6 months for a contract I had (which is easier to do with a child when you are married – Singapore is very conservative). We gathered our friends from all across the country for a wedding on 2 weeks notice and I totally got married at Bonefish Grill. One of our friends officiated, we threw one hell of a party that I only remember half of, and it was one of the best nights of my life. Later, after the wedding, my grandmother admitted she thought she would die before I ever got married.
I love my husband but I will divorce him in a second if it’s in our financial best interest (taxes) to do so. 🙂 Besides, then we can live in sin again. HAHAHAHA. But I wouldn’t tell my grandma.
MommySplurge
We lived together for almost 3 years before getting married. We lived together for about 6 months before getting engaged. He moved to OH for a job and I followed, otherwise I’m not sure if we would have lived together or not.
My apt lease was running out and we were already engaged, so we found a new place together about 5 months before the wedding. Don’t think my mother ever told either grandma we were living “in sin”! *L*
I’ve been married for 21 years and we didn’t live together before getting married. Probably because we were both young and lived at home with our parents when we started dating and got engaged. I’m sure had we been older and not living with our parents at some point we probably would have lived together before getting married, but who knows.
Totally. Considering we lived just two suites apart in the dorm we basically lived together from the get go. LOL When we left the dorm we moved to the same apartment complex and then when we graduated we moved in together permanently. I always say you have to try it out before you go in all the way. 😉 What happens if your living habits are just so different that you can’t make it work? I’ve had some people that have been together forever but then when they move in together they can’t make that part work. Better to try it out.
I do love the idea of waiting until you are married to live together but I have a strict policy of test driving before I buy
Yep. My husband and I lived together for about a year before we got married. We have been married for 10 years in July, so I think we are okay
You need to see if they are disgusting and/ or trainable before you marry them I think. Kind of like a puppy. Or checking the lake for gators before you jump in.
To all those women who don’t, good for you. You’re braver than me! I want full transparency on what I’m getting into.
BUT I’m divorced (& currently “living in sin”) so don’t take my advice! LMAO
His lease was up 2 months after we had started dating. Yes…..2 months into the relationship. It was a financial decision 😉 but thank God it worked out!
I started dating my husband in March, moved in in October. The following July he proposed and we were married 8 weeks later in September. We have been married almost 14 years. 🙂
We lived together after a year of dating (known him for 2 years = coworkers), and got married about 5 years later. I’m bad with years/dates, lol. We’ve been married 2.5 years.
We lived together five-ish years before we got married… (Had to make sure we liked each first I guess). We have now been married for (it will be) 7 years in June. I really can’t imagine not living together first. It would be terrible to get married and find out things you didn’t know about them (and have them be deal breakers). So I wouldn’t change the way it happened for anything!
My EX-fiance and I lived together before getting married… and man, and I thankful we did that! I had NO clue he was a functional alcoholic until living with him for about 3 months… He was able to hide it very well, and especially hide it when we weren’t living together! (Needless to say, I did not go through with the marriage – found a better guy to marry on match.com a few months later!) 🙂
As you know, I sure did and do. Like Stephanie, after a few terrible cohabitations I vowed not to live with a guy again unless I knew a wedding was a real possibility. While we aren’t engaged yet we did just buy a house, which is far bigger than a ring. We didn’t expect for such an awesome opportunity to come along before he made an honest woman out of me, but sometimes life throws crazy things at you.
It is not easy to keep the relationships alive; it needs a lot of effort. You may require a lot of patience and you need to convince yourself that I need to save my marriage for the sake of all the good times and for the children. There are always some hope and ways to resolve the problems your marriage. The conflicts in married life may be because of ego or some misunderstandings..”;-
All the best to you
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