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Dear The CDC, I have no idea how we got selected for your crazy survey, but I think this means we should get a pass on jury duty for the next few years now.
Dear L, I really am going to be a Mystery Reader in your class this month. I am just pretending that I am not going to be one so you will be surprised ;).
Dear B, Thank you for noticing that I colored my hair last night. You are so attentive!!! #notreally
Dear PopSugar Spoilers, Please come early in the day today. For real. Because I am super anxious to see what this month brings and don’t want to spend all day refreshing MUT and Instagram (but I will if I have too).
Dear Laundry, Why can’t you just do yourself? I am so sick of you.
Dear Pottery Barn Outlet, Why didn’t I stop last time we passed you on the way home from up-north? B offered, but I was half-asleep and clearly not thinking straight. I think maybe that’s why he offered. Anyway, I want a do over.
Dear People Who Park on the Street, You know what? Your cars are the reason our street is still a mess even after it was plowed. Seriously. I just don’t understand why we all can’t park in our driveways? 99% of the time they are empty. Makes no sense.
Dear Some Parents, Please stop being a**holes in the parking lot at pick-up time. Speeding through the school parking lot? Blocking the buses? Blocking everyone else so you don’t have to park / get out of your car? Enough already. (*)
Dear Candy Crush, Why can’t I quit you???
Dear WB, I love that you are feeling better little man. You are one unhappy sick / teething boy and it’s so much more fun now that you are bouncing around like normal!