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Dear CC Company, Okay, fine, you caught me. I did indeed go to 4 different Targets in one day. I appreciate that you don’t want some crazy person stealing my credit card and going nuts with it at Target, but the only crazy person here is me. Now, please stop denying my card okay?
Dear Target Cashier, I bet you thought I was a real piece of work when my CC didn’t work (see above) and then the debit card I tried to use didn’t work either. Turns out that my debt card expired on 12.31.12. Oops…..
Dear Secret UPS Delivery, I am dying to know what you are. 4lbs from some random fullfillment company. To my maiden name. All I can think of is that you are a Facebook contest win because who else would have my maiden name? But what is it?? Hurry up and get here.
Dear Christmas Tree, Usually I am sad to see you go, but this year I’m over it. Good riddance from my foyer. I am happy to have the space back and no needles on my floor.
Dear L, Thank you for suggesting I “go back to work” when I told you to stop asking for everything you saw on tv. What a great idea. Thanks for that.
Dear My Hair, I am very thankful you are growing back so nicely, however, I don’t know what to do with all this crazy new growth that’s uncontrollable and sticks straight up. Not cool.
Dear Macy’s, Okay, I get it, I need to schedule delivery of my patio table. It’s just that it’s freezing cold out and patio furniture is the last thing on my mind.
Dear WB, I am sorry that you wear footed pajamas all day, every day. I mean they are clean and all, but still they are pjs. It’s just that you can’t keep socks on because you are so crazy and I get tired of looking for missing socks around the house.
Dear Target, Hurry up and get to 90% off already!!! Waking up and seeing reports from the field of only 70% off still make me sad!